


this is all i'm asking for (standing right outside my door)

by ratherembarrassing



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, all i want for christmas is this ficathon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 17:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9195704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratherembarrassing/pseuds/ratherembarrassing
Summary: She stopped wanting to say no to Lena a while ago, and there's no reason to start now.But it sticks in her mind that she's not entirely sure what she's said yes to.





	

**Author's Note:**

> to quote blanche devereaux, better late than pregnant. and for my own ficathon, too!

 

"So I said, 'I know you were alive in 1973, and that you know referring to an adult woman by Miss is at best ignorant and at worst deliberately condescending, but I'll leave it up to you to decide which one you think is happening here.' And then I fired him."

Kara blinks as Lena finishes off her drink. "You did not."

Lena sets her empty glass down, and signals for their waiter to bring them another round.

"Okay, I didn't," Lena eventually says, her eyes alight with amusement, "but I wanted to. He's such a wanker."

It's not something Lena would say to just anyone, Kara knows that much. Maybe not to anyone, no one besides Kara, and the thought has her hiding a smile in her glass, warmer than the alcohol currently in her veins.

On the table a phone vibrates softly, and they both reach for their own. 

"Dammit," Lena sighs when it turns out to be hers, snags it off the table even though she's clearly undecided about actually answering. "I'll only be a moment, I promise."

She slips from their booth, phone unanswered but in hand, and disappears into the crowd, and Kara lets herself lose track of Lena as she heads out onto the empty terrace, their waiter arriving with fresh drinks.

They've fallen into the habit of Friday night drinks.

Lena gave her one and only interview after Lillian's arrest to Kara, invited her for a drink after it had gone to press; her first front page. It was meant to be a celebration, but how could she celebrate with a woman whose home life was down to its last layers, slowly peeled away over the years until it was Lena herself doing the job?

So it hadn't been a celebration. But Lena invited her again the following week, and Kara didn't know how to say no. Now she doesn't even wonder at saying no, when they say goodbye and Lena asks again each week.

She _likes_ spending time with Lena. Likes having a friend who understands pauses over certain words, silences when the truth is too hard. 

And it's not a conflict of interest — everything said is on the record. Only Kara can't remember the last time she pulled out her notepad, and the last time she actually quoted Lena was the day Lillian Luthor had been denied bail.

_ I hope she enjoys her stay _ .

Lena had been tickled that Kara had printed that.

Now: they get drinks, they don't talk about L-Corp, or Lillian, or anything to do with Lena's murderous family. They don't talk about Kara sometimes disappearing in the middle of their evening, calling with the wind whipping at her earpiece as she offers her excuses.

They talk about how much Kara still hates Snapper, even if he _is_ teaching her how to be the kind of reporter she wants to be some day. They talk about Westworld, which Lena hates but won't stop watching. They talk about— well, Lena talks about her ongoing battle with her R &D team to increase the response time in a new device they're developing— Kara's got no actual idea what it is, other than that it may revolutionize something to do with heart… attacks? Heart surgery? Whatever it was, Lena had been excited—genuinely, beautifully excited—about it last week, and that's all that matters to Kara.

Kara grins at the memory, and looks around to make sure Lena's not on her way back from taking the phone call. She slips the flask from her purse—not the weirdest present Alex has given her, but close—and adds a small splash of what is probably the Kryptonian equivalent of vodka into her Earth-vodka, lime and soda.

She's just taking a sip when Lena falls back into their booth, tucked into the back of a very discreet, very exclusive bar, and tosses her phone onto the table. It glides, frictionless, across the polished surface, stopping precariously close to slipping off the edge and into Kara's lap.

"Sorry," Lena says, reaching across to bat the phone back towards herself, hand fluttering near Kara's wrist for a moment. "You wouldn't believe how much work goes into organizing a holiday party."

"Actually," Kara says, smiling at the warmth spreading through her, "I used to organize the CatCo party."

"Well then you know how difficult caterers can be."

"I do. But it's nice, in the end. Everyone you usually only see as the person at the desk down from yours, or so and so that arrives at the office at the same time as you, together for an evening. People get to be real people for just one night."

"Sounds nice." Lena watches her over the rim of her glass, swallowing a sip. "Would you come?"

"Isn't it an L-Corp event?"

"It is, but we invite clients and partners. It's as good an opportunity to network as any." Lena leans forward, fingers brushing against Kara's wrist now. "Why not the press, too?"

"I don't—"

"Please." The bar is busy and noisy, but inside their booth, behind towering seatbacks and draped curtains, it would be quiet to Lena's ears, and she ducks her head, a shyness that emerges seemingly at random curving her shoulders and spine. "You'll be my date. I hate these things, and… Please."

She stopped wanting to say no to Lena a while ago, and there's no reason to start now.

But it sticks in her mind that she's not entirely sure what she's said _yes_ to.

…

"I need tomorrow night off."

Kara's _never_ asked for this before before. She's never really wanted to, though occassions where she should have prod at her memory, and she shakes them off, going back to unpacking the cartons of Chinese food Alex has brought over.

"What for?" Alex has discovered that sometimes a situation calls for discretion lately— and Kara will never be able to unsee some of the things she has walked in on happening in Alex's apartment, the bathroom at the bar, her _own_ apartment's bathroom, before Alex learnt that lesson— but Kara assumes it'll be a long time coming before it's ever extended to her own personal life.

"Nothing. I mean, not _nothing_ , I just." And maybe she wants Alex to ask, because maybe Alex will know. She's been rolling it around in her brain, the way Lena had seemed _shy_. The way she'd said _date_. "I have a _thing_."

"Yeah, okay." Alex lands on the couch beside her. "Spill."

The content of the third bag of takeout is incredibly interesting. "I think I have a date."

"What? With _who_?"

She would be offended at the incredulity of Alex's tone, but, well. She knows her own life. 

"I think… I mean, she said it was, but she might have been joking, you know, like it didn't have to mean that it was—"

"Whoa, hang on." Alex tugs at Kara's arm, and she nearly spills her hot and spicy soup everywhere. " _She_ who?"

She's never— no, that's not true. But as far as Alex knows, Kara's never been interested in women before. She's never really been interested in  _anyone_ other than James, not in any significant way. At least no one that returned her interest or with whom she stood a chance. 

It had just never come up, though given Alex's recent realization Kara's wondered if things might have been different if it had.

But. She _is_ interested now, and she takes a breath to acknowledge it. "Lena."

" _Kara_ ".

"Can you just, I don't know, turn that off for a minute?" Despite everything that happened, Alex has maintained a not completely silent objection to Kara's friendship with her. "Stop being 'Agent Danvers, Suspicious of All Luthors No Matter How Much They Save Everyone' for just a couple of minutes, and just be my sister?"

It's a low blow, and Kara cringes as it lands.

"I am _always_ your sister first. You know that." Kara ducks her head, nodding, and Alex reaches out to tilt her head back up. "Tell me what's going on?"

"She asked me to go to the L-Corp christmas party. And she _said_ as her date."

Alex goes back to assembling a plate of dinner, and Kara follows her lead. "Like, 'will you be my date to the prom' asked, or 'it's a date!' like some kind of perky confirmation?"

"Somewhere in the middle?" Kara answers around a mouthful of lo mein she's taken straight from the carton, settling back onto the couch.

Alex doesn't say anything as she finishes trying to hide some of the potstickers under a mountain of noodles, settling into her own corner of the couch.

"Straight women," she says eventually, "do this thing where they refer to their friends who are girls— _women—_ as their girlfriends.They talk about other women in romantic terms because _obviously_ they're straight so _of course_ they don't mean it that way." Alex's mouth quirks as she snickers. " _I_ used to do this."

"I don't— " She _doesn't_ think this is what's going on here. But she's bad at this. She's _so_ bad at this, and maybe she's just imagining the way Lena looks at her. "Maybe," she concedes, though what exactly she's conceding she's not entirely sure.

Alex stretches her leg out, nudges Kara's knee with her toe. "If you kiss a girl before I do, I'll kill you."

She knows Alex is letting her off the hook, but she's not above taking it right now.

Still. "I'd like to see you try," she replies, nudging Alex's knee back.

…

The music is loud.

The party is otherwise tasteful, painfully so, with restrained Christmas decorations and smartly dressed waitstaff ferrying around canapes and champagne, but the music is _loud_ and it does little to cover the strain winding its way through the crowd gathered in the atrium of L-Corp's top floor.

She's only just arrived, is loitering near the entrance because if nothing else there are a lot of people in attendance and Kara recognizes almost no one, and certainly no one that she could make any kind of conversation with. Everyone is dressed very seriously, as if for a board meeting instead of a party, and Kara's festive dress was a terrible choice.

The fact that so many people turned up, despite L-Corp's overly spectacular history with large gatherings, clearly there to gawk instead of celebrate, does nothing to make Kara feel any more comfortable about being there, or about _why_ she's there, and she's half a step into backing out when someone calls her name.

"Kara!" Lena shouts again before she emerges from the crowd across the empty dance floor. She's wound as tightly as the rest of the room, and Kara winces in sympathy as Lena hurries over. 

"I'm here." She doesn't know what to do with her hands, and she finds herself gripping the fabric of her Christmassy-red dress' skirt. "Great party."

Lena's eyes go wide with disbelief, like Kara's said something utterly ridiculous, and then she hugs her, sort of, hands gripping Kara's shoulders instead of fully embracing her. Her hands at hot and clammy against Kara's skin.

"I'm so glad you came. I—" Lena's still clutching at Kara as she leans back, and Kara can feel the moment she sags under the weight of keeping the cheerful act up. "I'm sorry you came, honestly. I'm going to have to speak to basically everyone and—"

So. Not a date.

…

She spends half the evening talking to Jess, and the other half watching as Lena moves from one person to another, never stopping for too long to talk, just long enough to wish them a happy holidays and then fleeing before the person either asks about Cadmus or, apparently worse, tries to offer up some sympathy over the whole situation.

Kara's not sure how long Lena's been gone when she realizes that Lena actually _is_ gone.

And a lot of bad things have happened at L-Corp events in recent memory, so Kara will forgive herself her moment of panic before she lets herself actually listen to the room, searching out Lena's voice, out through the rest of the floor, and then through the building.

Two floors below, she can hear Lena's voice moving around, muttering to herself as she paces in her office.

"You're such an idiot," Lena's saying, and the way her voice catches, and leaves only her breath twists something in Kara's chest. "This is a fucking disaster."

There's no one else in the room with her.

And Kara's not going to lie: it's not going great. But people are still there, still eating the canapes and drinking the champagne, and no one has shown up and tried to kill anybody. It's not much, but it _is_ something. It may not be a date, but she still wishes Lena was having a good time.

If anyone deserves it, if anyone is lacking in having a good time….

It took her a while, but not a very long while, to realize Lena has drinks with Kara every Friday night because there's no one else to have drinks with. It was roughly the same time she realized she didn't want to say no, and some people might squirm at being put in that position, but Lena asks, every single week, with a look on her face that says every single week she expects Kara to say no.

She snags two glasses from a passing waiter and heads for the elevator, because it's still a Friday night.

…

There's no one on the executive floor, and it's something of a rare treat not to have to dodge Jess's increasingly lackluster attempts to get Kara to wait to go into Lena's office, but her shoes echo on the marble floor and Lena should hear her coming.

Instead, the office is empty, doors to the balcony thrown open. Lena's leaning against the railing, the music from the party drifting out from above and the lights of the city laid out below.

"Why _is_ the music so loud up there?"

Lena doesn't startle, but she does whip around, a steel in her eyes that Kara catches before it can entirely melt away. 

What's left behind, a grateful attempt at a smile, makes Kara flush with warmth, her tongue awkward in her mouth as she stutters out a, "Sorry, I— I thought you might— I brought you a…" She lifts the two glasses as she shrugs. "I'm sorry this isn't going well."

Lena's face falls at the words, floods with embarrassment that leaves the curve of each ear bright red, and Kara wishes she could pluck the words back out of the air. "I'm—"

"No, you're right." Lena pushes away from the railing, comes close enough to take one of the glasses from Kara's hand and swallows half of it in one go. "This is a terrible first date."

"It's _not_ , it's— a—" Lena's words filter through. "A date?"

Lena blinks up at her, features completely still in a manner that could only come from long practice, before her face crumples into laughter. "Oh my god, of course you—" The rest is lost in a peal of amusement that shakes Lena's shoulders, and she stumbles backwards, leaning against the doorway to keep from tripping any further. "Of course!"

"Of— of course, _what_?" Kara asks, because she's glad Lena's no longer calling herself an idiot, but she doesn't exactly know why.

"I'm down here berating myself, and you didn't even know I meant it," Lena manages to get out, the words strangled by laughter that's turning slightly hysterical. "I can't even— oh my _god_ , I can't even manage to ask someone out right."

"Oh!" She was right! It is a date! "It _is_ a date!"

Lena turns wide eyes back up to look at Kara, laughter coming to an abrupt end. "Yes!"

"I knew it!" she says, finger stabbing at the air. "Well— okay, no. I didn't know it. But I wanted it to be."

And she did, she _does_. And it is, and she feels giddy at the thought, because she really is bad at this. Apparently she's not the only one, but she'd rather be bad at this with Lena than bad at it without her.

Lena straightens up from where she was slumped against the doorframe, hands smoothing down the front of her dress. "You did?"

And oh, that shy little head tilt is back, and Kara moves a step closer, unable to keep the distance. "I did."

"That's— good," Lena says, nerves getting the better of her. "I'm glad. Kara, I'm— this really has been a disaster, I'm so sorry."

But it doesn't feel like a disaster to Kara. Quite the opposite, it feels kind of amazing, and she reaches out, takes Lena's hand and pulls her closer as gently as she can.

"It's not too late," she says, her fingers tapping against Lena's wrist as she grins down at Lena looking at Kara's hand on hers.

"Too late for what?"

"To make this _not_ a terrible first date."

"Really, now," Lena says looking back up, all trace of shyness gone. "And what would you suggest."

And that tone is suggestive enough to be very clear. Enough that Kara finds herself holding off. "I could sing."

Lena's look turns delighted. "And what would you sing?"

She didn't think the offer would be taken up, but Lena looks downright giddy at the suggestion, and Kara tilts her head towards the open doors, catches the song playing upstairs on the breeze. It's most of the way through, but she knows all the words, and she joins in on, " _I just want you here tonight, holding on to me so tight._ "

And Kara's voice is okay, but Lena looks charmed, like she's actually having a good time as she tugs Kara impossibly closer. And that was all Kara wanted, wasn't it?

" _What more can I do? Baby..._ "

She doesn't get to finish. Lena's mouth is against hers, soft and insistent, stopping the rest of the song, one kiss and then another until Kara kisses her back.

When they part, Lena is breathless and if it were possible Kara would be, too. The song is over, but Lena leaves a trail of kisses along Kara's jaw, stopping just beside her ear. " _All I want for Christmas is you._ "

Kara tries not to laugh, tucks her head against Lena's neck, because Lena cannot sing, and the way she's shaking with laughter against Kara's body, she knows it, too.


End file.
